Meanwhile… Navy Confirms Existence Of UFOs

Meanwhile… Navy Confirms Existence Of UFOs


>>STEPHEN: YOU KNOW, I SPEND
MOST OF MY TIME OVER THERE MACHINING AND ENGINEERING THE
BIGGEST NEWS STORIES OF THE DAY INTO THE FINELY TUNED FERRARI
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO DRAG OUT
THE RUSTED CHASSIS OF AN ABANDONED PICK-UP, BOLT ON SOME
BUSTED-OUT HEADLIGHTS, A DISCARDED SNOW PLOW, AND SOME
REPURPOSED FLAMETHROWERS TO MAKE THE POST-APOCALYPTIC DEATH BUGGY
OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT>>”MEANWHILE.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT CURES WHAT AILS YA. MEANWHILE, A MASSIVE FIRE BROKE
OUT ON TUESDAY AT AN AUSTRALIAN CATTLE BREEDING LAB
“DESTROYING AROUND 100 CRYOGENIC CYLINDERS USED TO STORE CATTLE
SEMEN,” AND CAUSING “A MASSIVE SEMEN EXPLOSION.” WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS THE
WORKING TITLE FOR “THE EXPENDABLES.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ACCORDING TO LOCALS,
IT SEEMS “THE SEMEN INSIDE THE CYLINDERS “WAS RAPIDLY EXPANDING
AND ESSENTIALLY THE LIDS OF THE CRYOGENIC CYLINDERS WERE JUST
POPPING OFF THE TOP AND PROJECTILES WERE BEING THROWN
FROM THE BUILDING.” BULL SEMEN PROJECTILES. SO LOOK OUT FOR NINE MONTHS WHEN
ALL THE OVULATING WOMEN IN THE AREA GIVE BIRTH TO MINOTAURS. ( LAUGHTER )
SOMEBODY’S LITTLE BOY. HE’S SOMEBODY’S LITTLE BOY. HALF BOY. HALF BOY.>>Jon: WOW…>>Stephen: MEANWHILE, THE
U.S. NAVY HAS CONFIRMED THE EXISTENCE OF
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YES, I AGREE, ONE CLAPPER. ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS MASSIVE NEWS THAT COULD SHATTER OUR ENTIRE CONCEPTION OF
THE UNIVERSE AND OUR PLACE IN IT. WHICH IS WHY I’M COVERING IT IN
MINUTE 23 OF MY SHOW RIGHT AFTER THE BULL SEMEN STORY. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE NAVY IS REACTING TO THE
LEAKING OF SEVERAL VIDEOS FROM ABOARD NAVY FIGHTERS CAPTURING
THE OBJECTS. HERE’S ONE OF THEM.>>THERE’S A WHOLE FLEET OF
THEM, LOOK ON THE ASA.>>MY GOSH! THEY’RE ALL GOING AGAINST THE
WIND. THE WIND IS 120 MILES TO THE
WEST.>>LOOK AT THAT THING, DUDE.>>STEPHEN: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR
STEELY-EYED PILOT FIGHTERS CONFUSED. IT’S LIKE HEARING YOUR SURGEON
SAY, “OOO, THIS GUY IS ALL WET INSIDE.” ( LAUGHTER )
“SOMETHING’S WRONG, SOMETHING’S WRONG.” ( LAUGHTER )
THE NAVY LOGO NAVY WAS FORCED TO ADDRESS THE FOOTAGE AFTER IT WAS
RELEASED BY A U.F.O. INVESTIGATIVE GROUP CALLED “TO
THE STARS ACADEMY OF ARTS AND SCIENCE,” WHICH WAS FOUNDED BY
FORMER BLINK 182 GUITARIST, TOM DELONGE. WHICH MIGHT SEEM WEIRD BUT
DELONGE IS JUST ONE OF MANY 90’S MUSICIANS DOING TRAILBLAZING
EXPLORATION OF THE PARANORMAL. WE ARE ALL INDEBTED TO THE
VIGILANCE OF THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN OVER AT “THE SPIN DOCTOR’S
CHUPACABRA TASK-FORCE.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, THIS WEEK, MERRIAM
WEBSTER ANNOUNCED ITS NEW ADDITIONS FOR 2019, WHICH
HAS “MORE THAN 530 NEW WORDS,” INCLUDING “VACAY: A SHORTENING
OF VACATION,” “SESH: A SHORTENING OF SESSION,” AND
“INSPO: A SHORTENING OF INSPIRATION.” BECAUSE THE MERRIAM WEBSTER
DICTIONARY IS NOW BEING WRITTEN BY A COKED-UP MIAMI REAL ESTATE
AGENT. “GREAT SPOT FOR A VACAY. JUST A SHORT SESH. DECORATE ACCORDING TO YOUR
INSPO. I TAKE A SMALL COMMISH. THAT’S THE SITCH. THIS IS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO
TALK NOW. SAYS SO IN THE DICK. RIGHT THERE, OKAY. WHOO! I GOTTA HIT THE HEAD. BE RIGHT BACK. YOU GUYS WANT TO START A
SOFTWARE COMPANY? I JUST BOUGHT A BOAT! WHOO!

100 comments

  1. Come on Stephen. The UFO situation is a serious one. It's not a left or a right issue. Air force personnel have testified that UFOs have been responsible for turning off their Nuclear missiles. There is an abundance of information out there. To the Stars Academy of Arts and Science is headed up by former CIA, NSA and Government contractors. Even the former head of Lockheed Skunkworks Steve Justice is working with them. These men are very creditable and there is a lot of truth in these matters.

  2. If aliens had such advanced technology that they could reach us, it would be so advanced that we would never be able to detect it, its the equivalent of a dog knowing when a satellite is watching him. All a UFO is is something that cant be identified, that doesn't mean its an alien, it’s ridiculous to even jump to that conclusion. These people obsessed with aliens should put their resources into something that actually matters….. getting homeless people off the street, getting kids better education (one perk of that is there will be less idiots searching for ufos), finding cures for disease, cleaning the environment.. etc.

  3. Not bad UFO commentary from a gimp wristed slackjaw Jon Stewart knock-off doe eyed Flat Earther who knows exactly Boo about the Extraterrestrial phenomenon and is girl enough to state his blissful ignorance to a nation just emerging from seventy years of radical government oppression on the entire science. When alien magnetohydrodynamic propulsion is finally reverse engineered and the Human race leaps into space faring enterprises, Stephen Colbert can stay home and mow the lawns.

  4. New test… on the meek minds of American citizens! Use UFO material as real as the TRUTH of the corruption is about to hit the Gang of 8 plus like a huge enema in the shape of a UFO cigar disk!

  5. Allies of Humanity Briefings impart important information about the alien presence in the world. If you're looking into this subject seriously, I'd encourage you to read them.

  6. The only thing I want to see is congress hold a public sit down with bob lazar. How can bob lazar say the things he said and congress don’t hold a interview with him in public. This is beyond me. How can something so life changing to our world. , history, religion , national security, technology. Go without anyone having a public congress meeting. But they will hold a meeting about sex allegations.

  7. What a joke we have more evidence and some is even better Then the governments and we actually need them to tell us that this is real…

  8. UFO are confirmed as real so what ? We all knew they existed and they were real , well the govt always covered up videos that were real by saying it was CGI and stuff not all but some of the actual real videos , how long can the govt hide dz from us

  9. Im pretty sure that theres records of UFO. Not as unidentified.
    Its just that governments dont want us to know.
    Because if we do, there will be mass panic. And religion destroying consequences.

  10. U can find the saucer that nevy shut down in 1953 in area 51 50 floors below and u can find a whole goddamn fleet of of production saucers being developed.
    Guess where that 700 billion dollars military budget goes bitchs

  11. Dont believe this
    ITS ONE OF THE 4 STEPS TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER!! SEARCH UP PROJECT BLUE BEAM

    ALIENS ARENT REAL ITS ALL A HOAX

  12. If the us government made a secret deal with aliens to exchange
    technology (duh, what you lookin' at?) in exchange for contacting
    certain selectees, where are the selectees? I'll tell you. From first
    hand experience: We were brought by our mommies to certain us mil
    installations to be drugged, hypnotized and fed false realities
    (brainwashed). The aliens warned your leaders that if they did not
    contain their nuclear industry that they would via mass and energy
    (asteroids). Your God damned government saw an opportunity to use the
    threat as a weapon to gain control of the world and dug in. (Now you
    know why they hate Trump-they lost the keys to their pathetic DUMB
    bunkers at the most inopportune time) The only way to extinguish the
    nuclear fires is with Gold and that is why the gold was stolen on 9-11:
    to prevent the populace from extinguishing what was planned next…

    Enjoy your coming Apocalypse. It was planned by the Deep Shit.
    (Hint: What is coming isn't survivable)

  13. tnks #NASA s citing, infact corroborates, explicates our belief presence of Alien nd occurrence UFO in south pole of moon

    #ISRO affirmed Lander stands but tilted, !but who cld hv highjckd d Lander? Aliens seems positive
    Actually goes by our plan. The presence of that 🧐🛸 Aliens UFO, USA admin earlier denied! I

    https://t.co/oUjPJTeMOF
    எட்டிடா உன்னால 🙄 😁[tamil is root of many lang ~*lets share*]

    Rather it is preparation that is most important/crucial Here is a list provides a chk list, its very purpose is for next mission to be successful. Take a look where we stand ~ chandrayan 2

    https://twitter.com/cinehifx_kalai/status/1178173097205100544?s=19

    https://twitter.com/cinehifx_kalai/status/1178170323427975168?s=19

    https://twitter.com/SpaceCpture/status/1178154953212252160?s=19

  14. Stephen Colbert is the epitome of embarrassment. Anyone wasting their time with this bullshit propaganda show should have their head examined.

  15. In 2019, the US military admitting that Earth is being visited daily by UFOs with tech they can't do anything about = whatevs, comedy jokes.

  16. wow the whole Websters Dictionary piece at the end reminds me why i completely stopped watching Colbert after The Colbert Report. 😕

  17. I hope this prick/God lover, is still alive when first contact is made, oh how his bible will become shit-paper!!!

  18. It’s pretty clear… UFO’s are and always have been of Asian origin. Why? Super advanced tech years ahead of it’s time and super tiny drivers that change direction like they’re the only person on the road… I mean sky… only person in the sky.

  19. there are billions of planets just in our galaxy, honestly its silly to even think we are the only life forms in the universe

  20. ITS APART OF SATANS GREAT DECEPTION & LL GOVERNMENTS ARE IN ON IT! THIS HAS BEEN PROVEN DO YOUR RESEARCH

    Biblically if your a holy spirit filled Christan & read the scriptures often & do a lot of bible studies it would be revealed to you.

    What you are seeing are Fallen Angel's. We are indeed living in the end of days & the 2nd coming of our Lord & Savior is about to happen a lot sooner than 99.9% of most people beleive however this has been revealed to THOUSANDS of people via the Holy Spirit.

    Jesus said we will k ow when his 2nd coming is near as we will notice the signs of the times such as weird weather & movement in the skies. Not to mention the uprise of the LGBTQ community's all over as the bible also states we will become like Sodom & Gomora.

    So when people tell others that they need to pick up the bible & build that 1-on-1 relationship with Christ Jesus please dont take it lightly as 99.99999% of people do & will.

    God woke me up about 5 months ago & every since then the holy spirit has revealed so much to me that it is unreal how bad this world has become. It is 100,000 times worse than what most people even know because most people are to tied up in the worldly things instead of giving it all up & living in the spirit for Christ Jesus.

  21. Last winter up here in the Sierra's I was driving down a dark foggy road and when all of a sudden I looked in my rearview mirror and saw 3 Aliens in the back of my truck .It frighten me to death I panic and slammed on the brakes as i got out they seemed to be trying to communicate with me I yelled at them ( immigration) they ran off into the woods.

  22. All right people, look at this little light in this device in my hand. Now… that thing flying was a pokemon. You all can go home now. Done.

  23. The YouTube series “the arrivals” came out around 2007 said that through propaganda, more and more people will believe in aliens until they blame something massive on an alien attack, although it is really military technologies. DONT BE FOOLED THEY SAID THIS IN 2007!!!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsv2e1xiCPWt-4MNDXjRkg_nfqNWEog4m
    Link to the arrivals^

  24. Traveled the 🌎 devastated the pearl .scene visions celestial .an extraterrestrial*€€€€€€€€€€€

  25. https://youtu.be/_jTkh8oVjXw. Ufo sighting on flight from Newark to Nashville. Chrome orb about 15 ft in diameter and able to do u turn instantly and vanish going vertical into the clouds!

  26. I'm all for hearing different explanations for what the unidentified flying objects are. But the weather balloon argument is so fucking dumb. I want to see a weather balloon that can travel faster than sound. I want to see a weather balloon that can go from 20,000 feet all the way up to 80,000 feet in less than a second. I want to see weather balloons that can travel faster than sound and then stop on a dime. I want to see a weather balloon that can make abrupt, sharp, precise right angle turns on a dime.

  27. The govts mission is accomplished. People are too desensitized to realize the magnitude to this tech we know nothing about. Gotta be aliens or some interdimensional beings.

  28. How is this NOT 24 HOUR NEWS? Why are we making a joke about? Blink 182 Tom Delounge is a huge UFO activist! We ask every actor about politics.. But laugh at a dedicated person.. Who just happens to be an amazing musician?

  29. This ridiculing of UFO videos is exactly what we DON'T need. The taboo surrounding this subject needs to go away. While there are a lot of lunatics and fake videos out there, if you do some deeper research, several of these unidentified flying objects have three things about them: 1) They are absolutely 100% vehicles and not natural phenomena. 2) They have speeds, maneuverability and properties that mankind simply do not have the technology for. 3) We have no idea what they are or where they come from.

    That is not something to ridicule, but rather something to seriously investigate, and is likely the most important discovery mankind has ever made right in front of your eyes.

    I advice anyone interested to listen to this interview with one of the US Navy's pilots. One of the men protecting America's skies on September 11th. It's a long interview, but watch and listen closely to the whole thing without skipping anything. It will open your eyes:
    ​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eco2s3-0zsQ

    For those that do some actual research into this, there is a lot more evidence available than this.

  30. Tom works with US DoD and the old Stephen Colbert (who i miss) sold out worse than Fyre Festival. FUNNY🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
    🤣its starting to get crazy. Enjoy the show everyone tic toc

  31. Funny how this media ploy lies about where this story came from… 4 verified accounts via the same footage, from Navy Pilots, and multiple radar operators confirming the same thing, yet the media and the anchor spews lies.

  32. They make it seem like it's a joke so people don't panic and think it's fake. ITS REAALLL!! Watch the documentary "Unacknowledged" on Netfilx or "Unidentified" on Hulu !!

  33. Haha UFOs are real, we don't know where they're from or what their intentions are but they have a capability to run circles around the best fighter jets in the world, isn't it hilarious…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *