Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele

Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele


[bell rings] – ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, Y’ALL. I’M Y’ALL’S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER,
MR. GARVEY. I TAUGHT SCHOOL FOR 20 YEARS
IN THE INNER CITY, SO DON’T EVEN THINK
ABOUT MESSING WITH ME. Y’ALL FEEL ME?
– MM-HMM. – OKAY.
LET’S TAKE ROLL HERE. JAY QUELLIN. WHERE’S JAY QUELLIN AT? NO JAY QUELLIN HERE? – [clears throat]
– YEAH. – UH, DO YOU MEAN JACQUELINE? – OKAY. SO THAT’S
HOW IT’S GONNA BE. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. OKAY, THEN. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
JAY QUELLIN. BALAKAY. WHERE IS BALAKAY AT? THERE’S NO BALAKAY HERE TODAY? YES, SIR. – MY NAME IS BLAKE.
– BL… ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? [mocking voice] BLAKE.
WHAT? DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKEY?
– NO. – ‘CAUSE WE COULD GO TO WAR.
– NO. – I’M FOR REAL.
I’M FOR REAL. SO YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF. DEE-NICE. IS THERE A DEE-NICE? IF ONE OF Y’ALL SAYS
SOME SILLY-ASS NAME… THIS WHOLE CLASS
IS GONNA FEEL MY WRATH. NOW, DEE-NICE.
– DO YOU MEAN DENISE? – SON OF A BITCH! YOU SAY YOUR NAME RIGHT,
RIGHT NOW. – DENISE?
– YOU SAY IT RIGHT. – DENISE.
– CORRECTLY. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DEE-NICE.
– THAT’S BETTER. – [sighs]
– THANK YOU. NOW, AY-AY-RON. WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE IS AY-AY-RON RIGHT NOW? NO AY-AY RON, HUH? WELL, YOU BETTER BE SICK,
DEAD, OR MUTE, AY-AY-RON! – HERE.
OH, MAN. – WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME
THE FIRST TIME I SAID IT, HUH? – HUH?
– YOU KNOW, I’M JUST ASKING YOU. I SAID IT,
LIKE, FOUR TIMES. SO WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY IT THE
FIRST TIME I SAID, “AY-AY-RON?” – BECAUSE IT’S PRONOUNCED
“AARON.” – SON OF A BITCH!
[clattering] YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY RON,
NOW TAKE YOUR ASS ON DOWN TO OH-SHAG-HENNESY’S OFFICE
RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID! – WHO?
– OH-SHAG-HENNESY! – PRINCIPAL O’SHAUGHNESSY? – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN
CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OFF
IN YOUR ASS! INSUBORDINATE… AND CHURLISH. TYM-OH-THEE. – PRESENT.
– THANK YOU!

100 comments

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. I always thought this was a skit referencing the fact that ethnic names are often mispronounced by teachers, sometimes even on purpose.

  3. all right listen up yall. i'm yalls substitute teacher, mr garvey. i taught school for 20 years in inner-city, so don't even think about messing with me. yall feel me?

  4. What I don't get is why Dave Chappelle hates on Key and Peele so hard. This always happens with entertainers, especially black entertainers how they hate on each other. They do their own thing, they are funny. Does Chappelle really think he was the first person to make comedy skits and turn them into a show? Dude is a little jealous and salty because he decided to disappear and these two started getting shine and when old Dave came back he wasn't happy and not too funny anymore either. He does the same ole "racial humor" and trump jokes as every other liberal comedian. Dave, stop hating!

  5. 2:33
    put the word " face " instead of " classroom " then that will sound like my mom when keep asking her for something

  6. This popped into my head during Joker when he kept pronouncing "Murray" as "MurRAY". I shouldn't have been laughing, god help me.

  7. It's funny but we as white people are being treated like this in real life. It's not funny because we as white people are being treated like this in real life…
    Is this what you want? Because I dont.

  8. I can vouch for the stupidity of substitute teachers being dumb. When I was in second grade, a substitute teacher called me “jewson” garrett instead of Jason Garrett. I had to live with being called “juicy carrots” for four years 😂🤣🤬🖕🏼 fkn dumbass 😂🤣

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